An Original Thanksgiving Recipe…Nuts Not Optional!
To enjoy one of our traditional family Thanksgiving dinners, you will need…
One daughter who sits at the dinner table brazenly nursing her newborn as hubby is in another room singing off-key and strumming his guitar, as their two-year-old pounds on the piano.
One sister-in-law wearing Proenza Schouler’s Viscose crepe jacket, top and skirt, Marc Jacobs bangles and carrying a Michael Kors clutch. (Can you say label-whore?)
One tardy baby-boomer brother. He’s late because he’s cruising around in his Vintage-57 Vette. (He claims that he is ‘reinventing’ himself, although we all know he’s going through a mid-life crisis.)
One red-faced uncle who keeps his pudgy fingers tightly wrapped around his best-friends neck. (Jack & Daniel)
One eco-friendly little brother and his beaming life-partner with their two perfectly groomed bulldogs, Frank and Spud. (Guys…I just love the metal-studded dog collars but they’d look better on the dogs!)
One prima-donna high fashion male-model who casually strikes ‘a pose’ whenever a camera appears. (Momma’s little flower.)
One solo sister that agitatedly pops-a-pill every fifteen minutes. (Honestly, sis, those pills are not breath mints!)
One old-coot in a wheelchair that carries his teeth in his front pocket and then demands a kiss from every female in the room. (Really, daddy that is so gross!)
One truck-driving, beer-drinking, gun-totin’ proud as a peacock cousin, who saw a turkey sitting in a tree on the way over….and shot it. Then he drags the dead bird into the house thinking that I’d want to keep it for Christmas dinner coming up next month. (Although it was, a nice thought Ray-Roy…..thank you… NO!)
One teenage niece who is swapping spit with her boyfriend-of-the-hour. Both have short-bleached-white hair, pierced noses and matching tattoos. (Does anyone else smell that skunky odor?)
One steaming hot firefighter, his social reformist vegan wife and their perfectly groomed petite daughter. (Thank you Lord, they left their Great Dane at home.)
Mix in a couple of childhood friends who honestly believe they’re gurus on every topic.
Toss in the neighborhood gal-pals that have been ‘roommates’ for the past ten-years.
Slowly fold in a wine sipping elderly southern belle, dressed in her Sunday best.
Sprinkle liberally with small innocent adorable grandchildren that sing and dance on command.
Last but not least…One award-winning cook (me) that has prepared juicy golden turkey, moist sage dressing, creamy mashed taters, candied yams dripping in melted marshmallows and sprinkled with cinnamon, home-baked yeast rolls brushed with real butter, etc… however, this cook (me again) is only interested in eating spicy-sweet pumpkin pie she made for dessert early this morning. (It’s my mother’s special recipe.)
Arrange the dysfunctional mixture around the table and say grace.
Are you shocked we say grace? Heavens! We’re not heathens.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
One daughter who sits at the dinner table brazenly nursing her newborn as hubby is in another room singing off-key and strumming his guitar, as their two-year-old pounds on the piano.
One sister-in-law wearing Proenza Schouler’s Viscose crepe jacket, top and skirt, Marc Jacobs bangles and carrying a Michael Kors clutch. (Can you say label-whore?)
One tardy baby-boomer brother. He’s late because he’s cruising around in his Vintage-57 Vette. (He claims that he is ‘reinventing’ himself, although we all know he’s going through a mid-life crisis.)
One red-faced uncle who keeps his pudgy fingers tightly wrapped around his best-friends neck. (Jack & Daniel)
One eco-friendly little brother and his beaming life-partner with their two perfectly groomed bulldogs, Frank and Spud. (Guys…I just love the metal-studded dog collars but they’d look better on the dogs!)
One prima-donna high fashion male-model who casually strikes ‘a pose’ whenever a camera appears. (Momma’s little flower.)
One solo sister that agitatedly pops-a-pill every fifteen minutes. (Honestly, sis, those pills are not breath mints!)
One old-coot in a wheelchair that carries his teeth in his front pocket and then demands a kiss from every female in the room. (Really, daddy that is so gross!)
One truck-driving, beer-drinking, gun-totin’ proud as a peacock cousin, who saw a turkey sitting in a tree on the way over….and shot it. Then he drags the dead bird into the house thinking that I’d want to keep it for Christmas dinner coming up next month. (Although it was, a nice thought Ray-Roy…..thank you… NO!)
One teenage niece who is swapping spit with her boyfriend-of-the-hour. Both have short-bleached-white hair, pierced noses and matching tattoos. (Does anyone else smell that skunky odor?)
One steaming hot firefighter, his social reformist vegan wife and their perfectly groomed petite daughter. (Thank you Lord, they left their Great Dane at home.)
Mix in a couple of childhood friends who honestly believe they’re gurus on every topic.
Toss in the neighborhood gal-pals that have been ‘roommates’ for the past ten-years.
Slowly fold in a wine sipping elderly southern belle, dressed in her Sunday best.
Sprinkle liberally with small innocent adorable grandchildren that sing and dance on command.
Last but not least…One award-winning cook (me) that has prepared juicy golden turkey, moist sage dressing, creamy mashed taters, candied yams dripping in melted marshmallows and sprinkled with cinnamon, home-baked yeast rolls brushed with real butter, etc… however, this cook (me again) is only interested in eating spicy-sweet pumpkin pie she made for dessert early this morning. (It’s my mother’s special recipe.)
Arrange the dysfunctional mixture around the table and say grace.
Are you shocked we say grace? Heavens! We’re not heathens.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
