Pamela Vanden Bos

      I watch my daughter; slam the back door so hard the windows shake. She then stomps to the car and yanks the door open. After plopping herself into the drivers’ seat she crams the key into the ignition, shoves the car into reverse, and punches the gas.  Once we hit and bounce through every pothole in the alley…at top speed, I frown at Keelyn throwing my hands in the air and say, “What happened!”

     She said. “Dan asked me if I was wearing a pair of your jeans!”

     I ask in disbelief. “What part of those size-6, skin-tight, low-riding Victoria Secret pants…look like mom jeans?”

     Through the tears she mumbles, “He said they looked a little baggy.”  After another big sob she continues, “When I told him that he hurt my feelings he said, “don’t you want me to tell you the honest truth? Do you want me to lie to you?”

     Except for her sniffing, we drove to the store in silence however, inside my head I was screaming, “OMG… that young man is stuck on stupid!”

     A week later, I answer the phone and hear, “He hates them!” I glance at the caller ID; big shock, it’s my daughter.

     “What happened?” I demand in my ‘take charge’ mom voice. 

     “He’s being a jerk…AGAIN!”  (Well at least she’s ticked off and not crying.)  Mom you know those cute three hundred dollar designer glasses you and I picked out for me last time you were here.  I ordered them and picked them up today. When I walked in the house, Dan asked if they were new.  (Okay…he noticed something, that’s a good sign…two points for him.) But when I asked him if he liked them, he said, “Well they’re not like the old ones.” (Okay, boy be careful here) and then he said, “I guess I’ll have to get use to them. (And now… he’s back in the doghouse.) Mom, when I got upset he said, “Don’t you want me to tell you the honest truth? You don’t want me to lie to you do you?”

     And…what did you say Keelyn?

     Choking back the tears, she replies. “What can I say?  I want him to be honest…but…..”

     God please save me…. I will not get involved. I will not get involved.  I will not get involved.

     Now just yesterday….I was busy meeting a writing deadline, doing laundry and avoiding telemarketers. My daughter calls… troubled. (You know what’s coming don’t ya?)

     “I got a new hat… and Dan said it’s too puffy, it looks like a train engineer…it hurts my feelings… he said, “Don’t you want my honest opinion? You don’t want me to lie to you do you?

     Through gritted teeth I blurt out, “Enough is enough Keelyn. This is how you are going to stop all this crap. The next time your husband hurts your feelings and then proceeds to back up his right to insult you by saying, “You don’t want me to lie to you do you?”

 I want you to get in his face, look him straight in the eye and say, “Actually, yes, yes I do. Lie to me!”